Disappointment
by claireeleven
Summary: A glimpse into the mind of Will Shuester the day he cheated on his mid-term. Trigger Warning: Suicide


**Trigger Warning: Suicide**

**AN: I wrote this in like 15 minutes and it's just a quick one shot about Will cheating on his mid-term and what I imagine happened in his head that day. I hate Will but unlike half the fandom, I saw the storyline as entirely plausible as I personally have felt that way after failing a test in school. Anyways, enough from me, here's the story. Oh, and I don't own Glee.**

Anyone who knew Will would never believe he was a cheater, yet here he was, sitting in the principal's office, desperately trying not to lose his lunch, or worse, _cry. _He sat on the edge of his seat, completely mute while the principal lectured him on cheating and talked about the different possible punishments, detention, expulsion, _failing._ Will desperately tried to think of a plausible excuse for why he'd been looking at someone else's paper but his brain seemed to have given up on him, much like it had during the mid-term.

Will hadn't even realized that the principal had stopped talking to him and picked up his phone until he heard "Hello Mr. Shuester, it's Principal Peterson from McKinley."

It felt like his blood had turned to ice and for a second, Will was positive he was having a heart attack. He was terrified of the consequences he would face. They were pulling his dad away from work. As if it wasn't bad enough that his parents would ultimately have to know about his cheating, they were calling his dad at work, which meant his dad would have to explain why he was leaving early. Will's father was a proud man and his favorite past time was to boast to his coworkers about Will's achievements.

Will is captain of his Glee club. Will got the school prize for History. Will got straight A's this year.

It wasn't even the fact his parents would probably ground him for the rest of his life, that had him so shaken up. As he sat in front of the principal, listening to one side of the conversation, Will began to imagine the look of disappointment on his dad's face when he arrived. His brow would be slightly furrowed, his lips pressed tightly together. Even worse would be the talk he would get on the way home. He'd never be able to forget this one moment of idiocy. In his parents' eyes he would always be a cheater, even if he graduated top of his class from an Ivy League college (although his chances of getting in now were dwindling quite fast), he'd be Will, the cheater.

When the principal allowed Will to leave, telling him he must wait outside, he was on his feet in a second. Mumbling something about the bathroom to the principal's secretary, he took off at a sprint for the stairwell that the smokers used to get to the roof. At first he just felt suffocated and in need of fresh air as he desperately sprinted up the stairs but as the oxygen came flooding back into his lungs, the images of his father's disappointed face cam flooding back too.

The thoughts started to overwhelm him as he stepped up to the edge and looked down. He could escape it. He could avoid the lifetime disappoint of his parents, his teachers, his peers, himself. He could stop feeling so worthless and stupid and pathetic. It would only take one step and he could stop feeling that way.

Staring down over the edge, towards the hard, grey concrete path below, Will's head began to clear. Taking a deep breath, he wiped away the tears that had finally broken free and began to imagine himself in 15 years. He closed his eyes and pictured himself teaching history right here at McKinley, to students not that different to him and his friends. He imagined getting his students interested in learning, making sure they were all so confident in their own answers that they never felt the need to cheat. He might not be able to take back what he had done, but he could get past it, he could help others not to make the same mistakes and help them through these feelings of self-hatred that had grown inside of him to the point where he was standing there, thinking about ending it all.

Gasping, he quickly stumbled backwards away from the edge, hitting a wall before sliding down and burying his face in his knees. He knew he would have to go back downstairs and face his punishments soon but first he had to collect himself and work out what to do about what had just happened inside his head.

When he managed to stop crying, Will stood and brushed himself off before making his way to the stairwell, not looking back at the edge where he had almost ended it all. He knew he needed to get some help now, because thoughts like those he'd had on the roof didn't just happen out of nowhere and they certainly didn't disappear without working through them with a professional. But for know he had to focus on getting through the meeting between himself, his dad and the principal and accepting the punishment he deserved.

On his way back to the principal's office he passed the guidance counselor's office and quickly left a note in the book outside requesting to speak with her as soon as possible. He couldn't help but feel slightly proud of himself for acknowledging that he needed help, however the moment he saw his father waiting with the principal's secretary he knew it was going to take a lot of work to get rid of this feeling of overwhelming self-loathing. But he was going to try, and that's what mattered most.


End file.
